It’s an honor to bear witness to your grief, Ryan. You and your daughter are in my thoughts. ❤️
Your question of longing is timely for me, as is your share of Jade’s essay on the tyranny of infertility and longing to escape. As you know, I’ve been writing about this too on my Substack. I’m at the end of the road with my fertility treatments, and because I have to do something to keep moving life forward, I’m buying a camper van this weekend and scheming on driving it to Alaska this summer in the fulfillment of another long-held dream (one that wouldn’t be possible were I pregnant now). I’m craving that spaciousness and freedom after being chained to my monthly cycles for the past three years. I’m also making space to grieve and discern my next steps, whether childlessness, egg donation, or adoption.
Thank you for putting beautiful words to my longings!
Liz, I have been following your journey with much interest. I'd love it if you'd link a few of your posts here that have to do with that aspect of things -- finding spaciousness after feeling stuck. I am sure other folks here may want to read! And I so appreciate, beyond words, your generous gift of witnessing in the meantime.
Sending to love to you Ryan and your family for Saule’s birthday and the inevitable associated grief anniversaries. I thought you’d like to know that my passion flower has spring to life again - a few weeks back I was sure it was for the bin! I think my longing for this summer is to allow myself to not know it all (the future I’ve been slaving away at for years) and be pleasantly surprised x
Thank you so much, Jade. I do really love hearing about how your passion flower is coming along, and what it is teaching you. The allium I planted in Saule's pot has given me similar inspiration in the past few weeks, and I'm doing some writing behind the scenes about that. I love the dharma your flower is offering: to allow ourselves to be surprised. That in and of itself offers a sense of spaciousness that can be hard to find in these bardo-like life stages. Grateful for you offering that.
It’s an honor to bear witness to your grief, Ryan. You and your daughter are in my thoughts. ❤️
Your question of longing is timely for me, as is your share of Jade’s essay on the tyranny of infertility and longing to escape. As you know, I’ve been writing about this too on my Substack. I’m at the end of the road with my fertility treatments, and because I have to do something to keep moving life forward, I’m buying a camper van this weekend and scheming on driving it to Alaska this summer in the fulfillment of another long-held dream (one that wouldn’t be possible were I pregnant now). I’m craving that spaciousness and freedom after being chained to my monthly cycles for the past three years. I’m also making space to grieve and discern my next steps, whether childlessness, egg donation, or adoption.
Thank you for putting beautiful words to my longings!
Liz, I have been following your journey with much interest. I'd love it if you'd link a few of your posts here that have to do with that aspect of things -- finding spaciousness after feeling stuck. I am sure other folks here may want to read! And I so appreciate, beyond words, your generous gift of witnessing in the meantime.
Sending to love to you Ryan and your family for Saule’s birthday and the inevitable associated grief anniversaries. I thought you’d like to know that my passion flower has spring to life again - a few weeks back I was sure it was for the bin! I think my longing for this summer is to allow myself to not know it all (the future I’ve been slaving away at for years) and be pleasantly surprised x
Thank you so much, Jade. I do really love hearing about how your passion flower is coming along, and what it is teaching you. The allium I planted in Saule's pot has given me similar inspiration in the past few weeks, and I'm doing some writing behind the scenes about that. I love the dharma your flower is offering: to allow ourselves to be surprised. That in and of itself offers a sense of spaciousness that can be hard to find in these bardo-like life stages. Grateful for you offering that.