Further Reading: Feeling Your Feelings During Tough Transitions
Sharing our favorite resources, potluck-style.
"You have a support system of people who won’t fully share [your] specific ups and downs, but still can be there to lend support like in any intense situation you go through. It’s like a pot luck dinner, but for feelings. Nobody is going to give you everything you need, but everybody has something good to offer, even the friend who brings the emotional equivalent of plastic cups. Look, it’s not exactly a high-effort offer, but without cups…what will we drink out of???"
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A while ago, I posted the full newsletter from which this delightful quotation springs, written by my funny friend Josh. I’ve continued to noodle (pun half intended) on the idea of a potluck dinner, but for feelings.
This idea arose organically again recently, after our first Initiation Writes get-together on Zoom, co-hosted with NUR Space, during which we discussed strategies for navigating the holidays as a highly-sensitive person.
There are so many ways to nurture our feelings during difficult initiations and rituals, including the holiday dinners we share with our loved ones, and the time feels right to invite some crowdsourcing here.
I’m hoping this open, evergreen thread can also serve as a kind of roll call for readers here, in which we can share a bit about why we’re here, what we’re looking for, and what we can offer.
So, I’d love it if you’d post below:
Who are you? On whose land do you dwell? (Find out here.) What brings you to this digital space?
What is something you use to care for your feelings during tough transitions? Links are welcome, or you can simply describe your practice if it’s easy to envision without one. If you offer healing practices yourself in this regard or have a website/Substack dedicated to this, here’s your chance to shamelessly self-promote, with my enthusiastic consent. Who knows, maybe we’ll make a whole post or Initiation Writes interview about it together at a later date!
Examples: Das Rush uses the notion of a “Sacred Five” meditation practice to navigate the demands of parenting a newborn. The Rev. Molly Bolton uses poetry to ease others suffering in her work as a Cleveland Clinic chaplain turned spiritual director. I am a fan of EMDR and grief gardening.
What other resources for feeling your feelings would you like to receive?
Maybe you’re feeling less than jazzed about your current physical and tactile tools, and you’re looking for a new yoga practice, online crafts class, or weighted blanket recommendation.
Maybe you’re someone who is most regulated by visual, oral or auditory input, and you’re looking for a comfort food recipe or playlist to ease your passage into #hygge season here in the Northern Hemisphere.
Maybe you’re trying to make more time for true self-regulation rather than distraction, and curious about other people’s journaling or meditation routines — or you’re feeling the opposite, and looking to add something decidedly unserious to your nightstand to-read pile so that you can enjoy some screen-free autoregulation. (What’s the difference? This is a helpful explanation.) Anything goes, as long as it can be broadly interpreted as helping us to feel our feelings during liminal times.
This is such a wise and kind community. I’m looking forward to hearing from you! And please feel free to share this prompt with anyone else you know who may be looking to share their wares with folks who are currently navigating a tough transition season.
I live on Abenaki land in Vermont, USA. I'm here as an HSP learning to heal. I've also recently started EMDR and I've found it life changing. I'm not at all practiced in identifying or sharing my feelings so that is a work in progress. I just recently found a movement practice in reformer Pilates which helps me a great deal but I think my advice is to find a movement practice you want to do.
I also get into aggressive scheduling when feeling overwhelmed or sad. I plan vacations next year as well as how I can accomplish what I need to in the next few weeks. I'd love some suggestions on crafting things. My goal is something I won't want to throw away afterwards.
I love your comment on self-regulation instead of distraction. I'd like to get more regular with my journal practice and welcome some tips or prompts.
Hi and thank you to everyone sharing in the potluck. Thanks Ryan for hosting, decorations are lovely--you've nailed the vibe. I live on Wappinger/Lenape land in NY. I am still learning what exactly HSP means, but I am familiar with a few things that have gotten me through the holidays. Consider this my holiday designed cups and snowman paper plates offering at the table.
Thanksgiving cooking and Christmas cards in the past have stressed me out. So I've adapted my approach so I can enjoy them.
Cooking, keeping it low-risk and adventurously away from traditional pressures. We've adapted our Thanksgiving tradition into preparing the turkey a new way each year. We've done Tur-ham (ham stuffed turkey), Turkey wellington, and Turkey pot pie. We then get to daydream about what methods we may try in the future, smoking, deep fry (hopefully without fire), etc. This has turned a daunting bake, into something I look forward to, releasing expectation and obligation. To be honest we've loved the Turkey Pot Pie so much we've done it for 3 years in a row--but we still hold hope for our Turkey corndogs one day.
Christmas Cards: I use plain brown cards/envelopes, POSCO markers, Pentel Brush pen, and good ol' fashioned Crayola to doodle our Christmas cards. Inside, I write a brief message and include a picture of us from our phones. Its an opportunity to work with physical media, and practice not being self-critical. Its not going to be the prettiest thing, nor the most professional so I already have to let go of how it looks and focus on the the person I'm sending it to. Some years I've used one design for everyone, other years I've drawn different renditions of snowmen, trees, holly etc per card. Last year I enlisted the help of my 18 month old. He would scribble with whatever implement he could find and I would treat it as a holiday Rorschach test--translating his colorings to whatever holiday scene it reminded me of. It takes a long time, I won't lie. Some cards go out late, and I average only a few a night. I put all the card making tools in a tote so its easier to pull out and doodle while I have a cup of coffee or watch a show. I've found it helps me pause in a time that can feel so rushed.
Wishing everyone a calm, mindful and joy filled holidays.