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Lori K Walters's avatar

Kate, I appreciate you naming that sense of never being able to let your guard down. It's something so many parents feel. And it's exhausting and debilitating.

And if you're interested, I wrote an article about parents who were young caregivers a couple of years ago: https://www.lorikwalters.ca/post/the-over-helping-parent

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Kate Lynch's avatar

Thank you, Lori. My husband and I were both parentified kids. By the time we were 14, our son's age, we were pretty much on our own. We have provided Ocean with the stable, safe and seen childhood neither of us had, and it has served him well.

I don't see your description (of over-parenting teens) in myself, I've done so much work to overturn it, but I do in my husband. We have a lot of conflict over expectations of responsibility.

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Ashley Zuberi's avatar

Loved the reflection from Virginia Woolf and the inquiry line around comparj g ourselves unfairly to Hemingway as the standard of excellence. This conversation really resonated with me, thank you!

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Kate Lynch's avatar

Agreed!

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