“But our growth can too easily stunted when our stories are shoved too quickly into the claustrophobic containers of toxic positivity and artificial triumph (More fish in the sea! Get back on the horse!), or otherwise deprived of adequate safe space to be told in their messy entirety. When this happens, we and the people we love are robbed of the nourishing fruits our loss stories might offer us all.”
Great thought-provoking essay Ryan. The quote above made me think of how sharing your loss story with underprepared ‘posi-vibes only’ people feels like another loss all over again. I’ve likened it in the past to handing someone a tiny bird to hold and it being crushed or flying away. It’s so hard to find ‘bird holders’ in the culture we find ourselves in.
I cut back some of my passion flower today and I’d say I’m the withered, dry white end of the vine just at the point that meets the fresh green stem. Thank you for the prompt!
I love that image of the “bird holder.” Indeed, a specialized skill set. I think those of us that have been those fragile birds know best how they need to be held. Being initiated into that knowledge is so harsh and yet it transforms us into people who have much greater capacity for softness. It’s amazing how that works. And I love the image of brown growing into green as well. That resonates.
“But our growth can too easily stunted when our stories are shoved too quickly into the claustrophobic containers of toxic positivity and artificial triumph (More fish in the sea! Get back on the horse!), or otherwise deprived of adequate safe space to be told in their messy entirety. When this happens, we and the people we love are robbed of the nourishing fruits our loss stories might offer us all.”
Great thought-provoking essay Ryan. The quote above made me think of how sharing your loss story with underprepared ‘posi-vibes only’ people feels like another loss all over again. I’ve likened it in the past to handing someone a tiny bird to hold and it being crushed or flying away. It’s so hard to find ‘bird holders’ in the culture we find ourselves in.
I cut back some of my passion flower today and I’d say I’m the withered, dry white end of the vine just at the point that meets the fresh green stem. Thank you for the prompt!
I love that image of the “bird holder.” Indeed, a specialized skill set. I think those of us that have been those fragile birds know best how they need to be held. Being initiated into that knowledge is so harsh and yet it transforms us into people who have much greater capacity for softness. It’s amazing how that works. And I love the image of brown growing into green as well. That resonates.