When you're torn between two intentions
Noticing the difference between "I have to" and "I get to"
Greetings! I’m moving my family from Cape Cod to Central MA this month, so the brilliant Meredith Rodriguez will be supporting us with some Community Tuesday prompts. Below is her invitation to consider how we talk to ourselves about the choices we’re making — and how we can invite our bodies into the process. A perfect reflection for Cancer season, which traditionally invites us to deepen our connections with our inner world, even as we also consider how to show up with courage and integrity in the outer world. I know that for me, and for many of us, this month ahead will require much of both. — Ryan
Welcome to summer—where every day seems to offer a thousand tiny choices. Or maybe it’s a thousand decisions.
There’s a difference, right?
The word choice feels expansive to me—open, exciting with possibility.
But when I say decision-making, the same situation feels heavier, like something I am responsible for.
The truth? Both are real.
I’ve been noticing where I feel pulled between two paths. Where one feels like a should, and the other feels like a breath.
Right now, I’m embracing the practice of choosing what feels expansive.
That’s looked like:
Serving a snack dinner instead of following through with grilled burgers, corn on the cob, and watermelon—because even though that sounded summery and fun, it also felt like a lot.
Putting up an auto-responder on my email, even though I’m not in a traditional job—because otherwise I’d keep seeing those unread messages and feeling quietly guilty for not responding.
Skipping a road trip I was genuinely excited about—because pulling it off would’ve meant dealing with my check-engine light, packing the car with four kids AND our stuff, and somehow getting everyone ready for camp on the tail end of it. My body said no.
In each of those moments, I could feel the shift—between “I should push through this” and “I get to choose.”
When I paused to reframe it as a choice, even just in my mind, it opened up space. My shoulders moved down and back. I took a breath.
So as you set your summer intentions, here’s my invitation to consider:
Where are you feeling pulled between two things?
What happens when you shift from “I have to figure this out” to “I get to choose?”
How does your body respond when you say it that way?
What intentions suggest themselves after you ask and answer these questions for yourself?
Can’t wait to hear what you think in the chat.
— Meredith
Also: Save the Date for Our Upcoming Circle Series!
Our last circle of caregivers was so delightful that we’ve decided to keep the Tuesday morning time the same for the rest of 2025. Please save the date for these upcoming conversations!
Caring for K-12 kids: Tues July 8, 10:30am EST
Affirming neurodivergence (ours and/or our kids'): Tues August 5th, 10:30am EST
Caring for other adults: Tues Sept 2, 10:30am EST
Navigating cross-generational conversations about care: Tues Sept 30, 10:30am EST
Making space for grief: Tues Oct 28, 10:30am EST
Burnout prevention: Dec 2, 10:30am EST (note: this is the week after Thanksgiving)
If you’re not signed up to get the Zoom invites for our community gatherings, please click the button below to get on the invite list, which keeps the Zoom container secure and workable for all. We can’t wait to see you!