Community Tuesdays: What are your intentions for this coming season?

PLUS: A printable intention-setting exercise for paid subscribers

When my husband and I were planting out our first little urban farm in the back of our NYC apartment, we went a little wild with the plant-buying. Several kinds of vegetables for the raised beds, all kinds of hanging-plant schemes for the side of our cheery yellow-and-blue shed. What we neglected to think about was how summer conditions in NYC, plus the lack of an outdoor water source for our little space, would impact our lofty intentions.

By mid-summer, many of our much-loved plants were predictably wilting. We simply couldn’t keep up with the water demands posed by July’s punishing heat. Too much going out, not enough going in.

This is a common issue for caregivers in the summertime too, when it comes to our intentions for ourselves. We imagine that we’re going to make all kinds of progress on our goals, but neglect to consider how taxing it can be to transition out of the predictability of the school year into the often-less-structured routines of summer. For many of us, our self-care routines are the first to go as the seasons shift. (At least, that’s how it is here in the Northern Hemisphere; I’d love to hear from our Down-Under friends about what this seasonal change is like for you.)

In America in particular, we have a massive dearth of affordable full-day programs for kids (see: this excellent explainer by

Katherine Goldstein

). So, while some of us (like Goldstein herself) will go abroad, many of us will be here cobbling together some combination of vacation days, family care, teenage sitters and the like in order to accomplish our paid work and home admin.

The ironic upshot is that a season that, to kids, often feels expansive and freeing can feel to caregivers like one that is constricting and demanding, in terms of the executive functioning needed to coordinate all of the moving parts.

Our family is also facing a bigger-than-usual transition this year: we’ll be moving from the coast of Massachusetts to a small woodsy town in Central Mass., which means that in addition to changing schedules, we’ll also have to find new places to play, exercise, eat and receive medical care. Whew. I’m already sweating, and it’s not even that hot out yet.

Given this, I’m learning from my past gardening mistakes and I’m making a watering plan for myself. A summer set of intentions that includes a day-by-day breakdown of how I’d like to honor my needs for:

• Mindfulness/meditation

• Movement

• Creativity

• Connection to community

• Professional growth

• Tending my home and other members of the family

The related intention I’ve been carrying around for the last few days is to feel “supportive and supported” this summer. To make sure that I don’t lapse into a state of too much going out, not enough going in. To break even, energetically, rather than feeling like I can’t rest until the world is saved and the dinner is made.

What is your intention for the new season ahead? I’d love to hear from you in the chat.

Housekeeping note: While we’d ordinarily circle up on a Tuesday night to talk intentions, Meredith and I are trying something new for the summer — more casual daytime “Office Hours” meet-ups dedicated to different parts of our community. So, we hope to see you on June 10 at 10:30am EST if you’re a caregiver of kids under 5; stay tuned for details on July (caregivers of kids in K-12), August (affirming neurodivergence), and September (caring for adults). If you haven’t put your name on the list to receive our Zoom invites, you can do so here.

Relatedly, I’m so grateful for the paid subscribers that keep me resourced, so that I can continue to be in devotion to caregivers everywhere here at In Tending. As a special thank-you, you can scroll down and find a downloadable Google Doc that will guide you through the process of setting spring-to-summer intentions in each one of these categories above, with links to some of my favorite other offerings on Substack from mindful caregivers.

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